A couple of weekends ago I realised I was in a bit of a funk. That weekend and the previous two had been characterised by having lots I could do, and a strong repulsion to doing any of it. Several times I found myself just wandering around the house: lost. I know this as an indicator of depression and from my past experience I know I can catch it. I’m simply tired at the end of the year, was a period of work stress, and my mind was letting me know I needed rest and/or a change of plan.
The rest is scheduled and I have 3½ weeks leave scheduled over Christmas and New Year.
The change of plan was to look at my home projects differently. Many are long term, never-ending such as photo cataloging, and others require a specific time of the year. It’s too hot working on my Danish ships cross-stitch in the middle of an Australian summer. Yet, I realised that when I have everything bundled into a “Do this in 2025” bucket, not everything progresses as it could. The goal of spending 100 Hours learning Affinity Photo failed because I was inconsistent and each time I returned I had to relearn what I’d forgotten. The basics had not sunk deep enough into my mind due to taking too long. As with the cross-stitch, most of winter was gone before I remembered it. I need to decide what I’m doing when, and focus on finishing it.
This first recognition surfaced during a journalling session last Sunday. There was a second as well. Much of what I was shying away from sat in the “should” category. Games I “should” play, books I “should” read, etc. I recognised there are a lot of items in my to-do list driven by the experiences of others. I’m now happy putting those items aside. It’s clear to me when I “want” over “should” and I now know to look out for that in the future. Disco Elysium, Red Dead Redemption II and Kingdom Come Deliverance are all games I’ve started playing but haven’t continued. Why? Because I felt I “should” play them. My musings on this led to writing Should is a very dangerous word earlier in the week.
Steps to move forward on the backlog of home projects
- Cut the crap of “should” without guilt
- Organise home projects into distinct focussed time periods (with the added benefit of not feeling shame for those I’m not working on)
It so happens tomorrow is the start of summer here in Australia and that makes for a super easy way to align projects: by season. I needed only 30 minutes this morning to map the big projects I want to complete on a Kanban board, alongside a few someday/maybes. Finishing book series X, TV series Y, etc., don’t get a look in. They are not what I feed bad about not finishing. Every project has a definition of what completion looks like and interestingly there is nothing at all yet in Spring. I built a rule of keeping only 2 items in each quarter, with one mostly physical and the other mostly digital.
Kanban board of my 2026 home and personal projects
I feel much better than I did those weekends past and am looking forward to the next year. A little earlier than the early New Year for this type of effort and I’m more confident. The structure is one that compels me, rather than those of the past which have been more obligative.