My Way of Being is more than the behaviour I show. It’s the total sum of how I engage with the world, make meaning from my environment and take action. Expanding my Way of Being by being a learner in the world creates new possibilities for me to move forward in life.
Expand My Way of Being
59 views in this landscape.
My First Steps as a Philosopher
Whenever I’m asked what I would do if I didn’t have to work, I’ve answered, “I’d be a philosopher.” Those who know me nod in agreement and don’t question it. Although I know deeply intuitively this it the correct answer, I haven’t been able to articulate why. My Mission Statement defines me as a scholar of life seeking wisdom.
Trek to Yomi
Artistic, black and white, side-scrolling, button-mashing, samurai fighter. Short at about 5 hours to play. That’s enough. Here’s a screeshot.
Ontological Shift
A long lasting change in someone’s Way of Being.
R U OK at Christmas?
I posted this to my work colleagues in December 2022. It was as much for me to set myself up for a break as it was for others. My 18 Days Until I Can Fully Rest was something I directed at myself. Then, in February 2023 I had time off due to burnout. Day 1 - Permission This is the first in a series of posts leading up to the Christmas Break designed to help you get the most of your time out of the office.
Astronomy Connects Me With a Greater Sense of Self
There is something special about looking up at the planets, stars and galaxies and the sense of purpose and humility it engenders within me. It is spiritual. Never do I feel so connected as I do when I turn my mind to the vastness of space.
Business has a soul
A business has a soul just as people do. Souls on a plane. Should we ask how many souls rather than employees work in a business?.
Combinational Creativity
Metadata:note-makingLYTvideo presenter:: Nick Milo, Anne-Laure Le Cunff url:: www.youtube.com/watch Anne-Laure Le Cunff came to the field through discovering the Generation Effect. Creativity does not come from a muse. It all comes from combining pre-existing ideas. That’s important because it means you can make a process out of being creative.
The Map is Not the Terrritory
This concept is an attempt to get people to remember there is more than just the map. Yet, maps show relationships. In the case of a road map, it’s the relationships between A and B and importantly how to get there. Concept Mapping and Map of Contents do the same thing. Provide an abstraction level across the territory of knowledge.
The Five Love Languages
The Five Love Languages is a model that says we have a preference for how we mark love as received and how we prefer to show our love to others. The languages are: Words of Affirmation Gift Giving Acts of Service Physical Touch Quality Time Relationships may break down when two people show their love in a language that is not preferred by the other.
My Mission Statement
The behaviour and decisions in my life are made in accordance with this mission statement; the essence of which is grounded in the principles of truth, beauty, goodness and unity. I help people take powerful action to enrich their lives. I am responsible for my feelings, attitude and actions at all times.
Will sleep come?
The Apnea-Hypopnea Index (AHI) is an average measure of how many times you have a full or partial loss of breath for more than 10 seconds. It’s not hard to imagine this is not a good thing if it occurs too often. My recent sleep study resulted in a AHI value of 45.1. I knew I was constantly tired, and have been feeling the negative impacts for too long.
A Model of Trust
Trust involves making a ongoing series of Assessments that you will take action which takes care of me, including not taking action to harm me. That someone “can be trusted” is not a matter of fact. Otherwise we would not have the situation where I believe someone is trustworthy, but you don’t. If trust were fact, this situation could not exist.
The Problem Behind The Three-Body Problem
With notice that Netflix has made a series of The Three-Body Problem I’m revisiting the novel as an audiobook. Though I read it first only 18 months ago, I only have the barest memory of the story. Written by Chinese author Liu Cixin, the first two chapters of the book are heavily influenced by the Cultural Revolution and its immediate aftermath.
Thoughts on my Habits
I’m reading Self-Discipline: a guide to taking control of your mind, your time, and your life by Mark Manson and it’s given me cause to think about my habits. Following on from The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, he reminds us that habits are built from flowchart LR cue --> routine routine --> reward and attaching routine to a cue is the way to build rewarding habits.
Reputational Reliability
A cornerstone of my career reputation has been built on my reliability. When others learn that I deliver what I say I will, on time and to the standard expected, they form a positive opinion of my work practices. In turn, that contributes to their assessment that I can be trusted. I take very seriously the promises I make to others and my ability to meet them.
Gaming Teaches - Learn From Others
This note is part of the Gaming Teaches series of observations about what gaming can teach me when its use as a lens on life. So this is interesting. I watched a video a week ago about “How to Get Faster as a Sim Racing Beginner”. One single comment stood out to me. Set the wheel degree of rotation in the PC control panel and then set Assetto Corsa Competizione’s (ACC) setting to match.
Gaming Teaches - Perspective
Gaming teaches us the usefulness of chasing our perspective if what we are doing isn’t working for us. I use sim-racing to help explain.
You Know What I Mean?
My daughter and her friend have started a podcast called “You Know What I Mean?”. Two new adults who have just started university, chatting and laughing about finding their way in the world. If you need some lightheartedness in your day, you can’t go wrong. Check out the first 3 episodes.
The Muscle Memory of Conversations
This week I’ve returned to playing Elden Ring. Movement, combat and management of weapons, armour and spells, is all handled by a “controller”1. Games will generally ease you into which button to press when but after a while you end up not having to think about what to do and you just do it. The thing is, every game is different.
Holding Yourself to the Right Standard
Let’s say I’m measuring my behaviour, success, etc. and I fail to meet the ideals of the standard I’m comparing to. I will either: Feel inadequate because I am not good enough. Put unrealistic pressure on myself to close the gap. There is a third choice. Almost always overlooked. Adjust the standard to something that’s realistic for me at this point in time.
The Search for Clarity
More and more, I’m finding my role in conversation is to help others reach clarity. Despite their best attempts to avoid it at all costs.
Rabbit Holes
Earlier this week I received notice mastondon.au was being shut down (since taken over by someone else so staying). That lead me to thinking: Am I now on the best Mastodon server I can be (aus.social)? Should I stand-up my own server? Hosted and I have to pay for it? Self-hosted and I can I deal with all I have to learn? Should I return to mastodon.au Then today, something similar with bookwyrm as an alternative to Goodreads.
My Mission Statement Teardown
Early 2000 and I was in London and a newly promoted manager within Arthur Andersen, Business Consulting division. During some new-manager training, we were encouraged to develop our own personal mission statement. I’d never considered such a thing before then. Business mission statements have always felt hollow to me (still do - more about marketing than actual values).
Dads Are Human First
I regularly see posts in the Life of Dad Facebook group that inadvertently suggest you’re not a real dad unless you are always putting your family ahead of your own needs, and making large sacrifices for your family. I know they are trying to be supportive. I believe these kind of posts set unrealistic and unhealthy expectations.
The Indicators of my Impending Burnout
In October 2016 I attended a session for HR professionals where the topic of the day was mental wellness. The idea was someone could be mentally unwell but not necessarily mentally ill. The audience were asked to call out signs which could indicate a person was mentally unwell. I had 11/14 and found another 5 when I got home.
Everything, Everywhere, is Too Much
Last night I watched Everything Everywhere All at Once and this morning followed up with a The Terror of Everything Everywhere All at Once, a commentary on the movie by Thomas Flight on YouTube. Listening to Thomas I realised I’m suffering the same malaise the movie puts forward. That is, overwhelm from multiple shifting fragmented and widely different cognitive responsibilities all crying for my attention.
Don't Just Communicate, Converse
When employees in the workplace complain about a lack of communication, what they really mean is a lack of conversation with a capital C. Conversation is Collaborative; requiring people to come together with an openness to joint mutual benefit. Controlled; focussed to achieve outcomes in the world. Continuous; we are almost always in some form of conversation, be that internal or external.
How Covered is the Earth?
When I find myself waiting in the car to pick someone up, I often play a mental game of working out how high the Earth would be covered if everything humankind has made were flattened and spread out. In a sense, melted. My estimate is less than 10cm covering the land and I would not be surprised if it was way less.
Do you ever get distracted?
Me, earlier this evening… “I’ll go to the supermarket and get bread while you’re out” Ah, my Amazon order of Forspoken hasn’t arrived yet. I want to be home when it comes. I’ll play Stray instead while I wait. Start up Playstation. Alarm goes off. It’s bin night. Take bins out. Green waste bin almost empty.
Is Forspoken Spoken For?
This week sees the release of Forspoken, a new RPG for the PlayStation 5 and PC. My copy should arrive in a few days and I’ve been looking forward to it since I saw the trailer alongside the original PS5 release. If you read the press, Forspoken is anything mixed quality at best to the worst game of 2023! I played the demo, which apparently was full of issues that I didn’t note, and am still looking forward to the game.
It's (Not) Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas
Around this time each year people start to say how the Christmas/New Year break is just what they need as a holiday. This year it’s different. Everyone I speak too who is working is completely tapped out mentally. It isn’t the usual “end of year” slowdown, but something deeper. I’m not sure a couple of week’s break is going to be enough.
18 Days Until I Can Fully Rest
I’m now down to 18 work days before I get 2 weeks off work over Christmas/New Year. It’s important that I relax and look after myself. It’s tempting to think of all the: Books I can read TV I can watch Movies I can watch Video games I can play Kilometres I can walk Places I can visit Miniatures I can paint Photos I can categorise but the risk is I spend my holiday busy.
The Perfect Mail Merge
We have a state election on Saturday. One local candidate sent a letter to our household today. We have four that will be voting. They could have sent a letter each. They could have sent it to “Dear voter” Instead, they sent one letter to all four of us, by name and the address had “The Buchan Family”. That is the best mail merge I have ever seen.
Half Way To Go
Each time I hear the Sun is 50% through its life and only has 5 billion years to go, I feel sad. If we’re not off Earth and into the Milky Way Galaxy by then it’s all over. Colonising the Solar System is not enough. For humanity it’s less time than 5 billion years. The Future of Earth, gives us a billion years to get the job done at best before the Sun has expanded its influence and engulfs us.
What’s the Real Concern?
I once heard the suggestion that a gravestone is more reflective of the people that commission it than the person who has died. It’s similar to you buying a present for someone that you’d really like to receive yourself. And that’s similar to pet owners more concerned with discussing the breed of their pet rather than how their pet is part of their life.
Observe the Music
Changing how we observe our world by becoming a different observer is powerful. A power that gives us more choice. If you ever need reminding that observing differently can make a difference to how you feel in your soul you can: Listen to a favourite piece of music in a different location, on better headphones, or in a dark room.
The Last Third?
Board members are elected for three terms, on a rolling basis. The first term… to learn The second term… to be productive The third term… to mentor the new first years. … My sense is I’m now beginning the third term of my career. I’m looking forward to it.
Missing the Big Picture
Today I recalled the tendency for my early career performance reviews to be positive, “but David, you need to learn to see the Big Picture.” I always left feeling a little stupid because I didn’t know what to do about it. I also felt frustrated because those telling me I needed to see the big picture couldn’t even explain what it was, let alone how I should get there.”You just need to learn how.” At every moment we are limited to observing only what our Way of Being allows us to observe - even if it is objectively there for another to see.
Civilization VI Failure
On Sunday I started playing Sid Meier's Civilization VI. Today I lost badly and that’s ok because I was learning all the time.
Crazy Coincidence
I have a relatively new car. It’s done just over 3,000km. Here is a crazy coincidence from earlier today. The odometer read 3,000km while I was stopped at traffic lights. The odometer read 2,000km while I was stopped at traffic lights. There are not so many traffic lights where I live that this would be at all likely.
Fear of Missing Out
FOMO generates extra dollars for the gaming industry, both PC/console gaming and board/tabletop games. Two words. DLC and Expansion. Both represent additions to the base game. The call is strong. After a conversation last night with a friend about this very point I learned there is an expansion to SmallWorld I didn’t know about, and there are some expansions for Sid Meier’s Civilization VI that I don’t have.
Writing is a Concernful Activity
Sometimes, we don’t know what is important, and blogging, journalling and writing in general are ways to discover that. To go meta, these are all forms of conversation and without conversation figuring out anything is impossible.
Expanding my Comfort Zone
I have never liked the phrase “Step outside your comfort zone”. Why do that uncomfortable or scary thing? An implication of stepping outside is that I can’t step back inside when I may need to. I have had to commit to something I don’t yet understand. I prefer to engage in being a learner and take the steps necessary to “expand my comfort zone”.
A Moment for Tea
One of those small pieces of advice I picked up years ago was “pause and savour the first sip of tea or coffee.” Every time I remember to do so it’s a moment of quiet in the day. It would do me good to find more of those moments.
Can't, Won't and Shouldn't
The other day a friend was saying to me that he’d been involved in an investigation at work, and colleagues were asking him for details (gossip). He said he’d been telling them, “I can’t say anything.” Got me to thinking of the difference between “can’t” and “won’t”. Can’t is more, “I’d like to, but I don’t have a choice in keeping quiet.” It’s a way of keeping social care of those who have asked, even if they should know better.
Digital Overwhelm
Euan Semple posted about the digital overwhelm we are facing more and more as online systems become ever more dictated yet poor interface design makes them unusable. If you’re waving at someone to get their attention for assistance, and they continually ignore you, you will submit and put up with the pain.
Ideas are Better in Bed
Conversations such as blog posts that I write in my head lying in bed or when walking are always better than they end up when I type them. I wonder if it’s because typing is simply physical and there is less emotion accessible in the moment.
Learn Through Humility
What a great quote this is. A reminder that learning is the responsibility of each of us. You will learn quickly if you ask for feedback from a position of humility for that will let you listen to the response without being harmed.
Just Forget It
I’ve become conscious that “just” has crept into my email vocabulary. ”I’m just writing to ask…" "I just need to know…” When used this way, it’s apologetic and has no place in making solid requests. Contrast with the significantly stronger examples below. ”I’m writing to ask…" "I need to know…” .
Training and Education
Yesterday I was musing on the difference between training and education, wondering why training in the workplace is usually ineffective. This is my stream of consciousness on the question. Many people consider training and education the same, however they have several distinct differences. Training is the process of learning something with a goal of performing a specific skill or behaviour.
Keeping My Cool
Over the years I’ve learned to keep my cool when working on DIY projects. I’m apt to lose my cool when, despite my best amateur efforts, something doesn’t go as planned. It could be a cut in the wrong place, an unlevel hanging, the wrong screw… Our mood predisposes us to see the world in a way. With DIY that can mean everything is the target of a hammer! Saturday I was putting up a shelf in the laundry.
Measure Once, Cut Twice
Have you ever carefully considered a purchase from a store then when you got home realised there was an aspect you’d missed that made it completely unsuitable? I do it frequently with trips to the hardware store for screws where somehow I’ve managed to get the wrong diameter or length. Once, I bought the extended edition of the Belinda Carlisle Runaway Horses CD, after I already had the original version.
Do you over-aside?
I’ve noticed recently a tendency in myself and others to add layer upon layer of explanation when we are talking. Once I saw it, I realised how counter-productive it is. We think we are helping, but we’re not. Piling up information faster than the recipient can process it. I park my car a few hundred meters from where I work.
Knowledge or a Tractor?
A group of farmers was asked what they would do if they woke up in the morning to find their $100,000 tractor had been stolen from the shed. They indicated a rush of activity around police, insurance and other such matters. If all else failed they would seek to buy a new tractor. As soon as possible. When asked has a senior manager with an equivalent salary recently left the organisation - the group said yes.
An Illustration of the Truth
There is an interesting passage in Rhythm of War by Brandon Sanderson where the protagonist, Kaladin Stormblessed has an altercation with his father Lirin. It shows what can happen when we hold an opinion as truth. An invasion has occurred and Lirin, a surgeon, urges his son to stay and help people. Kaladin, who was trained as a surgeon by his father in his youth, is caught between his father’s wishes and his natural desires to protect people using force.
Why We Like Things
I’m a couple of chapters into “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek and he’s already solved a problem I’ve been pondering. Well, not so much pondering as noting with curiosity. That is, why I love my new Macbook Pro. For years I’ve been a user of PC’s. Until July last year I’d never used a Macintosh ‘in anger’ and the last time I sat at one was in the mid-80’s.
What Dads Can't Do
My daughter is an avid reader and loves the library. This week she brought home a copy of “What Dad’s Can’t Do” by Douglas Wood. Here’s a summary from the website. There are lots of things that regular people can do but dads can’t. Dads can’t cross the street without holding hands. They can push, but they can’t swing.
Who is the Quantum Gardener?
I set my self-consciousness a task as I went to bed. To come up with a title for myself by the morning. I awoke as the Quantum Gardener. Mary Mary, Quite contrary, How do your quantums grow? With chance and opportunity, And your futures all in a row. For a while now I’ve known the Ontological Poet, the Holistiic Detective and the Electronic Janitor.
Coaching in Action Review
I walked to the middle of the circle holding my name tag in my hands. Turning around to face the other course participants I held up my name tag and declared in a voice from the centre of my being, “This is my name tag but this is me and I am legitimate!” It was late Sunday afternoon^[2002] and I had just completed Newfield Institute’s Coaching in Action program.