Today Matters
Posted by David C. Buchan in Inspiration and motivation, Self improvement on February 1st, 2010
Reading time: 2 – 4 minutes
Over the recent Christmas break my attention was taken by the simple and powerful idea that what we do today sets us up for the success of tomorrow. John C. Maxwell writes about the concept and his experience applying it to life in the book Today Matters.
My experience of self improvement books is that many give high level ideas which sound fantastic but are too far from day-to-day reality to put into place unless you can stop the world. Others are so highly specific as to be interesting but non-applicable. It’s as if you get the destination without transport, or transport and no destination. Thankfully Today Matters provides both in abundance — and with travel tips to boot.
Make twelve decisions. One each in an important area of life and then apply discipline on a daily basis to achieve goals consistent with your decision.
Possibly the most important learning for me was the difference between distinction and habit. I have beaten myself up too often over the failure to develop a habit. You know, that thing you must do each day to be successful. What I had failed to realise was that habit comes not from repetition, but from the repeated application of discipline. If I am disciplined enough to take action each day, the habit will follow.
I absolutely have Today Matters in my top five must read books and recommend you take the time to read and apply it to your life.
I’ve taken on three areas to start with. Two areas which I have assessed to be strong and one where I have assessed myself to be weak (all relative to one another). Maxwell’s suggestion is to work on an area for 60 days and no more than one weak area at a time. That’s great advice for my melancholy nature which would otherwise take on all twelve.
I’ve chosen Growth, Health and Finance. For personal reasons I will refrain from sharing the decision I made in each area. I hope you don’t mind. Yet, having made the each decision it was immediately apparent which disciplines I had to install into my daily life.
Under Growth I have recommitted to reading 15 minutes a day and freshly committed to reviewing my growth each day and counting the number of times during the day I help another improve themselves. With Health I have learnt more about the nature of a good diet and applied it (loss of 3.5kg in 3 weeks) plus exercise of 30 minutes most days. My weakest area was Finance and in that area I’ve learnt the ways in which I justify poor spending decisions, reviewed my insurances, taken steps to secure my retirement and helped my daughters begin to understand what money is (thanks to The First National Bank of Dad by David Owen).
Half way through my first sixty days I can confidently say I have made progress in all three areas which would not have happened if I had not read Today Matters or limited myself to only three areas of focus. Stay tuned.
The Next Trillion
Posted by David C. Buchan in Self improvement on January 7th, 2010
Reading time: 2 – 3 minutes
There are some interesting ideas in The Next Trillion by Paul Zane Pilzer. I read the Australia and New Zealand Tour Edition which is an abridged version. Let me declare that I own a business which sells products in the wellness industry but have no interest in sales of this book. Here I’m relaying Pilzer’s arguments and encourage you to read the book yourself and make up your own mind.
Quantity demand reflects the consumer’s demand for a larger supply of an existing product; quality demand reflects the appetite for a different or improved kind of product.
Pilzer, Paul Z (2001) “The Next Trillion: Australia and New Zealand Tour Edition”, Video Plus (USA), p.40
I saw my spending patterns reflected in the conversation about quantity and quality demand. I bought my first DVD because I recognised the quality was better than VHS. This is quality demand. Then, happy with the quality I wanted more of it and purchased many more DVDs. This is quantity demand. Then, with the introduction of Bluray as a higher quality format again I’m back on the quality demand cycle. Pilzer contends this will be the same with nutritional and other wellness products. People will want more and of a better quality. My own experience reflects this also.
The bulk of the abridged version details an almost conspiracy argument that the government and food producers are concerned only with profit and more sales. It is US based but I can see the same trends here in Australia and comes about from a chronic lack of understanding about what food we require and why. Mainstream food choices are not good, especially if eaten without understanding what is. As people learn they do change their behaviours. It is unfortunately very difficult to learn and that reason alone is sufficient to read this book to get you started.
Closing my open loops for 2009
Posted by David C. Buchan in Getting Things Done, Self improvement on January 5th, 2010
Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes
An open loop is something which is pulling on your attention. I have a few from 2009 relating to Quantum Gardener which I will close today lest they fester and end up consuming more and more of my time.
50 book challenge (2009)
In 2008 I successfully read 50 personal and self improvement books in a 12 month period and once complete immediately set myself the same task for 2009. Whatever the reasons, and I could create many, my progress this time around has been much slower. As of today I am at 16/50 which leaves 34 between now and April. In terms of open loops I had committed to myself to write up a short overview of each book for you the reader and I’ve managed just 8 of the 16. So, here are they are:
Getting Things Done by David Allen; At least my third reading of my productivity bible. Each time through I learn something new. See my Getting Things Done category of posts for more information.
The Way of the Bow by Paulo Coelho; The most succinct book on goal setting I have ever read. It uses the various aspects of archery as metaphors for goals. The title is available for free online.
“But never hold back from firing the arrow if all that paralyses you is fear of making a mistake. if you have made the right movements, open you hand and release the string. Even if the arrow fails to it the target, you will learn how to improve your aim next time.
Go for No! by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz; A second read in the period and perhaps more interesting the second time around (see my earlier review).
The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz; This is a classic reminder that our thinking is the ultimate limiting factor in the success of our life. This was my second reading and I was grateful to be able to identify those times I’ve thought big and achieved results. It also helped me identify all those times I didn’t think so big and pulled back for no real reason.
“We must be willing to make an intelligent compromise with perfection lest we wait forever before taking action.”
The Manual of the Warrior of the Light by Paulo Coelho; A series of short stories, often in parable form, exposing virtuous characteristics. I often take inspiration from these stories. For those familiar with The Warrior of the Light newsletter, much of the content here will be familiar. The title is available for free online at http://paulocoelhoblog.com/internet-books/
Today Matters by John C. Maxwell; This is the most important book that I read in 2009. So much so that it was read cover to cover twice in a matter of weeks. The basic concept is that what we do each day sets us for the success of tomorrow and we must put daily disciplines into place for that to occur. I’ll write more in a later post.
Practising gratefulness daily
A little while ago I wrote about the benefits of practising gratefulness daily. My well meant intention was to post what I was grateful for each day on Twitter and sadly I haven’t come close to doing that. I am often grateful but may not pick up the habit of a daily post until later this year.
Declaration of closure
And so I declare my 2009 open loops closed with regard to Quantum Gardener. There are still many ideas trying to get out of my head and into this blog. It takes time to organise them all and find space to write clearly. It may be as part of my 2010 self-improvement learning plan that I commit to a weekly blog entry at a minimum yet before doing so I do need to be sure it won’t be at the cost of something else.
My favourite authors
Posted by David C. Buchan in Productivity toolkit on December 7th, 2009
Reading time: < 1 minute
Tom Morris – Modern day philosopher. Every time I’ve been successful Tom’s 7 C’s of Success have all been in play.
John Maxwell – Leadership mentor. An amazing knack (though hard work no doubt) of distilling leadership lessons into understandable pieces.
Alan Sieler – Ontological coach. My coaching mentor and author of two excellent books on the method of Ontological Coaching.
These are the authors I keep coming back to. When I read their words it’s like a conversation with them over time.
Children ask for what they want. Do you?
Posted by David C. Buchan in Self improvement on November 30th, 2009
Reading time: 1 – 2 minutes
Children have no hesitation in asking for what they want as my daughter’s letter to Santa demonstrates. As adults we lose this skill. As the end of the year approaches and you begin reflecting on 2009 ask yourself, “What didn’t I ask for this year?”
My weekend shopping had me running late for a lunch engagement. And my mobile phone had run out of charge. It would have been easy to let things slip rather than risk the potential embarrassment of asking to borrow a phone. Instead, I plucked up the courage and asked the sales attendant serving me if I could borrow a phone to make a quick call to my wife. She could have said no but she didn’t. And while she served me, my day became easier and immediately less stressful.
If this seems a trivial example it isn’t. Requests come of all sizes and often those made early on — before things get worse — make all the difference.
Will my daughter get all she asks for on Christmas morning? Who knows what Santa will bring. I can only hope she never loses the skill of asking.
My daughter’s letter to Santa
Alan Sieler recognised as world’s leading authority on Ontological Coaching
Posted by David C. Buchan in Coaching others on November 26th, 2009
Reading time: 1 – 2 minutes
Alan Sieler, my coaching mentor and trainer, has been recognised by publishers Sage as the world’s leading authority on Ontological Coaching as reported in the November 2009 Newfield Institute newsletter.
In the midst of a very busy work and travel schedule, I am pleased to report that Alan Sieler continues to find time to write! Alan is making steady progress on Volume III of Coaching to the Human Soul, which is on track for publication in two years time. Alan was recently recognised by the prestigious academic publishers Sage as the world’s leading authority on Ontological Coaching and has been commissioned to contribute a chapter on Ontological Coaching for The Complete Handbook of Coaching. Keep an eye out for this publication in 2010.
To learn more about the valuable approach that is Ontological Coaching, I suggest you read Alan’s paper Ontology: A Theoretical Basis for Professional Coaching or visit the Newfield Institute website.
The Charter for Compassion signed. Now what?
Posted by David C. Buchan in Inspiration and motivation, Self improvement on November 23rd, 2009
Reading time: 3 – 4 minutes
Following in the footsteps of Michael Bungay Stanier I have signed and affirmed the Charter for Compassion, a global effort to raise the awareness of compassion in the world.
This simple act had me thinking about compassion over the weekend and how it comes about. There are people in the world who are naturally compassionate. And, there are people who are not. What might be the difference between them and how, if you’re in the latter group, can you change things?
Much as there is a mood of gratefulness, there is a mood associated with compassion as well. Moods are integral to our way of being. They are predispositions to action. In simpler terms, the mood we are in dictates what we see as possible in the world. If I’m in a compassionate mood then showing compassion to my fellow citizens will be much easier than if I am in a non-compassionate mood such as resentment, resignation or anxiety. How can I consider helping someone if I’m angry, feel there is no possibility in the world or am scared of what may happen?
The Arbinger Institute would say we are non-compassionate when we are “out of the box” or have a “heart at war” with respect to another. Practising the teachings in their excellent books Leadership and Self-Deception and The Anatomy of Peace will take you a long way towards harbouring a compassionate way of being.
I sadly can’t speak from direct experience of cultivating a compassionate mood. Having signed the Charter for Compassion I’m now bound to try. What I can speak from is the experience of generating other useful and resourceful moods.
Shifting a mood requires consideration of the language you use and the way you hold your body. I’d suggest that to become more compassionate I’ll need to be reading appropriately such autobiographies as I can find about people who have led compassionate lives. And I’ll need to keep observing my internal thoughts, particularly as they apply to those I don’t get along with so well. Skip Ross suggests that you think only good thoughts about people you don’t like for 90 days and see what happens. If you think a negative thought any time before that, start again (and he notes saving the bad thoughts up to let rip on day 91 doesn’t count). This post is also part of shifting my language. I’m “in the conversation”.
Likewise I’ll need to be observing my body and how it reacts. I’m not sure exactly what a compassionate posture is other than to think it is relaxed and non-aggressive. Standing back rather than forwards.
Most importantly, in my efforts to become more compassionate, I must show compassion to myself. There will be times when I’m nowhere close. If I show myself compassion I can learn. Otherwise I’ll keep myself down.
If you’re still reading then why not sign the Charter for Compassion yourself.
It is your responsibility to clarify understanding
Posted by David C. Buchan in Self improvement on November 16th, 2009
Reading time: 3 – 5 minutes
The meaning we bring to our words in a conversation is important. Each of us has grown up learning what words mean so well that we often fail to recognise others may be using the same words but with different meanings. The result? Confusion and often a lack of respect.
To illustrate, let’s imaging two sergeant’s of old discussing a new archery recruit in the army. The archer has been through some training and the sergeants are reviewing his performance to date. Does he stay as an archer or will he be relegated to the infantry.
Sergeant Fred and Sergeant Barney are initially in agreement. Private Jones is not as accurate as he needs to be. More often than not he doesn’t even hit the target rings. Archers however are in short supply and they agree to give him some more training over the next month and a review.
“How did Private Jones go after his training?” asks Sergeant Fred. “I think he’s doing ok. He’s improved”, responds Barney. “How can you say he’s improved! He can’t hit a bullseye!”. “Well”, said Sergeant Barney, “He’s getting closer”. The conversation continues like this for a couple of minutes. One person convinced he’s improved and the other convinced he hasn’t.
The problem is that both sergeants are using the same word — improved — with different meanings. Or more precisely in this case from different standards. According to Barney, who’s standard is “closer to the bullseye than before”, Private Jones has improved. He regularly hits the target rings even if he doesn’t hit the middle. This showed to Barney an ability to learn and improve. Sergeant Fred on the other hand was working to a more stringent standard. What use is an archer who can get close to the enemy. He needs someone who can reliably hit a target the size of a bullseye. According to Fred’s standard Private Jones has not improved. He cannot meet the standard required.
This conversation will continue forever unless one of the participants is listening closely enough to realise they are using the same word but with different meanings. Barney might offer, “Sgt. Fred. It seems that you an I might be using the same word but with different meanings. When you say ‘improved’ what do you mean?” He then listens very carefully.
This is the origin of the phrase ‘coming to terms’. The process of agreeing a meaning.
In this situation it is difficult to imagine that Sgt. Barney with his understanding of Fred’s meaning for improved doesn’t agree. In an army, hitting a target is important and the time to learn is short. With a new understanding he can choose his words differently next time and avoid upsetting himself and his colleague at arms.
It would be tempting for Sgt. Barney to push forward his interpretation of improved and make Sgt. Fred understand. This would be a mistake. It’s enough to know what Fred means to move forward. Pushing his point will do nothing more than reinforce any idea Fred has that Barney doesn’t know what he’s talking about. In all likelihood, Fred doesn’t even realise there was a confusion of meaning and is relieved Barney finally sees things his way.
The practicalities of this are everywhere. In the workplace we can waste massive amounts of time arguing a point and pushing our view forward instead of seeking to understand better what the other party is saying.
In Australia there can be confusion when ‘next’ is used. Does ‘next Friday’ mean the Friday four days from now, or does it mean the Friday next following the one four days from now. It depends on who you are and who you are talking to. It can mean either. The best bet is to get the date and not just the day.
I recently had occasion to check a medical term on wikipedia. My doctor rolled his eyes when I told him of my research yet it turned up that my understanding of a medical term was different from his. Once I had read the explanation that countered my layman’s understanding I was able to turn a “no” into a “yes” which totally changed the diagnosis. Should my doctor have known better and confirmed I understood this common term properly. Yes. Should I have confirmed I understood this common term properly. Yes as well.
The responsibility to work to understand another’s meaning is yours as it is mine.
Practice gratefulness daily
Posted by David C. Buchan in Inspiration and motivation, Self improvement on November 9th, 2009
Reading time: 2 – 3 minutes
In July 2008 I began the daily habit of selecting something I was grateful for and noting it in my diary. Gratefulness is one of the most powerful emotions we can have and for me the daily habit of reflecting was a moment of quiet and stillness as the world rushed around me. My experience of being grateful is whole of body; like a large sigh without the angst, or the feeling of a warm bucket of water tipped down my back.
The notes of my Ontological Coaching course suggest the following way of thinking about the mood of being grateful.
- I assess that I have been and am the beneficiary of many possibilities in life
- I assess myself to be very fortunate to have experienced these possibilities and benefits
- I declare that I am grateful to the world in general, and also specific individuals for this enrichment
- I also declare that it is a privilege to be alive
Today I will reignite my habit and bring it to the new world. A tweet a day with the hashtag #gr8fl. There is nothing too great or small to be grateful for as I have previously acknowledged: Update 7 January 2009 I’ve not been able to develop this habit the way I would have liked to. The gratitude is there. The habit of posting on Twitter isn’t.
- Warm socks to put on my feet (mid-Winter item)
- The opportunity we had to swim together as a family
- The patience of my wife
- Microwave popcorn
- Learning that gratitude is a feeling and not just words.
If you would like to follow along please do so on my Twitter feed. I’ll subscribe to #gr8fl and if you post with the same tag I’ll see it.
One way to answer the tough questions of life
Posted by David C. Buchan in Inspiration and motivation, Self improvement on October 2nd, 2009
Reading time: 2 – 3 minutes
Jack Vinson asks,
The biggest question I have upon reading this book is, how I can apply these idea in my life — particularly in the life of my children. I believe that they will “do well” in school, given both of our academic interests. But how do we translate that innate talent into something that gives them what they need to succeed? Gladwell doesn’t offer an answer to that question. (Laying outside the norm)
I wonder if trying to answer this question ‘as is’ is an exercise in futility. It is a powerful and potentially life changing question and so a way forward must be found for as it stands, this question is unanswerable without knowing the answers to some other questions first.
Questions can be dangerous beasties. The answer to “Life, The Universe and Everything” is well known to be 42. The problem is we don’t really understand the question. Let me suggest the difficulty in nswering such a question always comes from our belief system — the way we believe the world is. I can demonstrate this best by asking Jack some follow up questions designed to help him understand where this question comes from and why it is important to him that he answer it.
- How do you think your life would change if these ideas were applied to your own life?
- Why do you believe your childrens’ innate talent is not enough for them to succeed?
- What are you defining as success for your children?
- What mood are you carrying towards the success of your children? (One interpretation could be that Jack is resigned to no possibility of his children being successful and that is why he needs to do something to help them become successful in life. Or, he may be in a mood of wonder and is asking in anticipation of knowing how it will all work out for them. Blogs don’t hold the necessary indicators to give a clue to his mood which, I stress, only he can personally confirm.)
Several questions which if asked would lead to many more. They are designed to help Jack achive lthe clarity he needs to answer his initial question.
If you can’t find an answer you may be served by trying to find out why you are asking.
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Charter for Compassion