A Conversation for clarity in its rawest form occurs between two people seeking to understand each other better with an interplay of questions and responses driving towards a mutual truth.
Conversations for clarity can be difficult. I frequently find people shy away and feel uncomfortable being asked for clarity because:
- The very act of asking can feel like a challenge to their Sincerity or knowledge
- They are unused to being asked for it
- They don’t know the answer and sitting in the grey is uncomfortable for them or they are afraid of me knowing they don’t. At the moment of answering what is thought to be known is shown to be unknown.1 It takes Courage to acknowledge this in the moment and I am the person that doesn’t know I am comfortable saying so because I understand the importance of acknowledging the fact so missing knowledge can be sought.
- They feel the clarity I may need is unnecessary
- Because they don’t have clarity themselves they cannot understand why it’s needed
- They think enough clarity has been provided but I know from experience critical detail is still missing
- They don’t have the time (“a stitch in time saves nine”)
They same reasons are used by myself from time-to-time.
Sitting in a Conversation for clarity requires Trust, particularly alignment in my assessment of Involvement; that the other is attuned to my concerns. When the clarity is paralleled with a Conversation for coordination of action, my assessment of the other’s Sincerity; that they will do what they say they will do, is also crucial.
Footnotes
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There is a lot we don’t know because we rely on shallow mental models, confuse familiarity with understanding or outsource knowledge to the environment (Le Cunff (2026), The Illusion of Clarity). ↩