Sincerity is an Assessment, showing up as belief, that someone is being genuine in their intentions when they say they will take action that cares for something important to me (or refrains from taking action that will damage me). In other words, the “Yes” they give me is matched by a “Yes” in their internal dialogue.

Sincerity is not the same as Involvement. I can be 100% sincere in saying I will help you and be doing so for my own reasons with little regard for what is important to you. In Bedazzled, The Devil (Elizabeth Hurley) grants Elliot Richards (Brendan Fraser) seven wishes, never once intending to deliver what he asks for. 100% sincerity, 0% involvement.1

Failing to meet a commitment is not in itself proof of insincerity as many factors contribute to broken Promises. Solid supporting evidence (such as the person saying they never intended to help) is required to move from a negative Assessment about their Sincerity to a True assertion of insincerity.

Of the four components of Trust, this is the easiest to damage when I find out there was incongruity between what was said and the other person’s internal dialogue. The emotional response to betrayal is strong and I am likely to feel invalidated as a human being.2

Footnotes

  1. I might argue that in acting this way The Devil gives Elliot what he really wants in the end; self-respect.

  2. Sieler (2003), Coaching to the Human Soul (Volume I) > Chapter 9 - Basic Linguistic Tools for Human Possibility III