I have begun to shift the observer that I am and in doing so better equip myself to handle the vagaries of life. You might almost say my formal training in how to learn and live has begun. A week ago today I started my Diploma of Ontological Coaching.
Jareth (The Goblin King): Sarah, beware. I have been generous up until now, but I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous! What have you done that’s generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me. I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside-down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn’t that generous?
Sarah:
Through dangers untold
And hardships unnumbered,
I have fought my way here
To the castle beyond the goblin city,
For my will is as strong as yours.
And my…
Jareth: Stop! Wait! Look, Sarah. Look what I’m offering you—your dreams.
Sarah:
And my kingdom is great.
Jareth: I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want.
Sarah:
Kingdom is great… Damn! I can never remember that line.
Jareth: Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
Sarah:
My kingdom is great. My kingdom is great. You have no power over me. You have no power over me!
The Ontology of the Human Observer tells us that a shift in the way we observe ourselves or the world can open the way to powerful new learnings. I experienced my first such shift on the second day of the course. It was just before lunch and I was sitting there drained and tired after a challenging coaching session on my success as a consultant. I was asked to listen for the voices in my head and what they are saying. Choosing to follow on from the coaching session and not back away I began writing “I am not capable of delivering the services I want to…”
“I am not capable of delivering the services I want to and I know are worthy because I lack the real world experience to do so. Therefore I do not expect you to value what I can do, let alone pay for it. My best hope is to convince you somehow by me doing a very small (because I don’t want to inconvenience you) piece of work. Obviously I’ll do this for free because I’m getting all the value from it. Maybe you will look kindly upon me and refer me as I don’t expect to be doing any further work for you past the initial piece.”
After failing with Sarah, The Goblin King had apparently been visiting with me. Immediately the words “You have no power over me” swamped the story I had been running in my head for a long time. I wrote forcefully, almost breaking my pen in the process, and in doing so began the exorcism of a story that I can now see was scuttling almost every attempt I was making to be successful. Unknowingly I was stopping myself from achieving what I wanted. For the next 24 hours I kept hearing “You have no power over me” and it felt great. The tiredness from my earlier conversation had been replaced with an energy that is still driving me forward a week later.
At the end of the third day of the course we each had the opportunity to make a declaration. Having taken part in the first three days of the course previously I knew this was available to me and so chose to make a public declaration to my Goblin King. I thanked my fellow course participants for creating such a safe environment for me to explore, then standing I read out aloud the story I had been hearing for so long. Calmly and with peace. I placed the piece of paper I was holding on a chair beside me, moved to the centre of the room and stood. Arms outstretched, palms facing upwards, feet planted firmly, head raised. My next seven words boomed throughout the room.
“YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME ANYMORE!”
Feel the shift in who I am. Embody peace, wonder and ambition. And in that moment, touch my own soul.