This is a photo of Charlton. He and I have been together ever since my wife gave him to me when we were first going out together. That’s now about 13 years ago. He travels with me when I’m on my own and my family is at home. Charlton and I have been to London, Chicago, Atlanta and all over Australia. Recently we were in Melbourne and uncharacteristically Charlton forgot to put himself in my suitcase for the trip home. As a result he spent a few days lost and then a few days found, waiting for me to collect him yesterday from the hotel where I (we) were staying. Charlton’s story is a good example of how the Basic Linguistic Acts can help alleviate suffering. In this case my suffering over his loss and what my wife would do to me. Firstly, it’s important to recognise I’d had a breakdown in the transparency of life. As I lay awaiting sleep on the Sunday night I first arrived home, I jumped up out of bed to check if Charlton was in my suitcase (yes, it’s a bit much to hope that I’d actually unpacked). I knew he wasn’t there before I checked. There was no recollection of packing him. What could I do in the moment? Nothing. So I went to sleep resolved to call the hotel in the morning.
Secondly, a 33 year old travelling with a teddy bear is a strange thing to own up to. It may not be such a strange thing to occur but who would know. I could have been so embarrassed about the fact that I failed to call the hotel and would in doing so doom myself to a life of wondering what had happened to my travelling companion. I have even been asked by others if I was embarrassed in calling. I wasn’t. He was my bear, my responsibility and I wanted to get him back. This for many may have been the greatest stumbling block. It was strange watching the reactions of others as I told them what I was doing yesterday afternoon. Nobody queried it. It’s almost as if they were too scared to find out that I wasn’t joking.
Anyway, thirdly in this play of basic linguistic acts, I called the hotel to see if they’d found a bear. Being clear in the request I explained who I was, what room I was in and where I would have lost him. The person who answered the phone agreed to have somebody look and to call me back. They did but no bear. At my wife’s suggestion I repeated that he may have been lost in the sheets but still no luck. “They would have found him as they are very thorough”, was the reply. Well, it turns out that they weren’t very thorough as a couple of days later I got a phone call. “Were you the person who called about a missing bear? Can you describe him?”. Yes I was, and yes I could. “We have him and he’s so gorgeous”.
I was relieved and made plans to come and get him (I have some negative assessments about posting something so valuable). Luckily I was to be in Melbourne again yesterday and quite near the hotel. This is called a Conversation for coordination of action.
So with Charlton back in my house again, sitting in his rightful place atop my bedside table, I’ve completed my conversation for stories and assessments. But there is one more conversation for me to undertake. One of appreciation to the people that found him and kept him safe until I could arrive.