In my last post I wrote about the notion of breakdowns and how a breakdown between what we expect and what happens can cause suffering. Today I want to touch briefly on a powerful way forward which is often overlooked.
If you need help, ask for it.
So simple and yet time and again I’ve evidenced people slogging away trying to solve their problems alone when all they have to do is ask. There are many reasons why they don’t. Pride, insecurity and stubborness are just three reasons. The biggest is habit. They are not in the habit of asking for assistance. They are in the habit of not asking.
For the rest of today and tomorrow note to yourself how often you think about asking for assistance and then don’t (or if offered turn it down). How strong is your habit?
Matthew 7:7-11 (New International Version)
Ask, Seek, Knock
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
“Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Thank you for the comment Suzi. It raises in me a wondering about how many ask God for forgiveness or compassion but not their fellow men.
A reader emailed me and wrote, “Indeed nice thougths, it requires quite a bit of courage to ask for help. And sometimes you ask for it. But what happens when the person who is supposed to make you feel good by helping, uses it as a way to hurt you, to make you feel miserable….Probably you have then asked the wrong person for help?”
If you read the post immediately prior to this one we have a good example of a new breakdown. One which then can be handled by the asking of further requests, including of the person who has let you down. You may request them to stop. That really takes courage.