Posts Tagged habit

Today Matters

Reading time: 2 – 4 minutes


Today Matters

John C. Maxwell. Center Street 2004, Hardcover, 336 pages, $7.83

Over the recent Christmas break my attention was taken by the simple and powerful idea that what we do today sets us up for the success of tomorrow. John C. Maxwell writes about the concept and his experience applying it to life in the book Today Matters.

My experience of self improvement books is that many give high level ideas which sound fantastic but are too far from day-to-day reality to put into place unless you can stop the world. Others are so highly specific as to be interesting but non-applicable. It’s as if you get the destination without transport, or transport and no destination. Thankfully Today Matters provides both in abundance — and with travel tips to boot.

Make twelve decisions. One each in an important area of life and then apply discipline on a daily basis to achieve goals consistent with your decision.

Possibly the most important learning for me was the difference between distinction and habit. I have beaten myself up too often over the failure to develop a habit. You know, that thing you must do each day to be successful. What I had failed to realise was that habit comes not from repetition, but from the repeated application of discipline. If I am disciplined enough to take action each day, the habit will follow.

I absolutely have Today Matters in my top five must read books and recommend you take the time to read and apply it to your life.

I’ve taken on three areas to start with. Two areas which I have assessed to be strong and one where I have assessed myself to be weak (all relative to one another). Maxwell’s suggestion is to work on an area for 60 days and no more than one weak area at a time. That’s great advice for my melancholy nature which would otherwise take on all twelve.

I’ve chosen Growth, Health and Finance. For personal reasons I will refrain from sharing the decision I made in each area. I hope you don’t mind. Yet, having made the each decision it was immediately apparent which disciplines I had to install into my daily life.

Under Growth I have recommitted to reading 15 minutes a day and freshly committed to reviewing my growth each day and counting the number of times during the day I help another improve themselves. With Health I have learnt more about the nature of a good diet and applied it (loss of 3.5kg in 3 weeks) plus exercise of 30 minutes most days. My weakest area was Finance and in that area I’ve learnt the ways in which I justify poor spending decisions, reviewed my insurances, taken steps to secure my retirement and helped my daughters begin to understand what money is (thanks to The First National Bank of Dad by David Owen).

Half way through my first sixty days I can confidently say I have made progress in all three areas which would not have happened if I had not read Today Matters or limited myself to only three areas of focus. Stay tuned.

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Ask and ye shall receive

Reading time: < 1 minute

In my last post I wrote about the notion of breakdowns and how a breakdown between what we expect and what happens can cause suffering. Today I want to touch briefly on a powerful way forward which is often overlooked.

If you need help, ask for it.

So simple and yet time and again I’ve evidenced people slogging away trying to solve their problems alone when all they have to do is ask. There are many reasons why they don’t. Pride, insecurity and stubborness are just three reasons. The biggest is habit. They are not in the habit of asking for assistance. They are in the habit of not asking.

For the rest of today and tomorrow note to yourself how often you think about asking for assistance and then don’t (or if offered turn it down). How strong is your habit?

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Recognising transitions in order to get things done

Reading time: 2 – 3 minutes

Isn’t it wonderful when you learn something you didn’t even know that you didn’t know. And more wonderful when it’s something that you desparately needed. By way of his blog, Matt Cornell has just introduced me to the idea of transitions and how they relate to David Allen’s Getting Things Done (GTD).

Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.

T.S. Eliot, “Four Quartets 1: Burnt Norton”

There are a number of moments or still points each day where we transition from one place to another. The place may be physical, from the office to the car, or mental, as we finish on activity and begin on another. These points of transition represent moments of choice that until now I didn’t realise existed. In the GTD methodology, as you finish a next action step, you should decide what to do next. I have to admit I’m not as strong there as I should be. Even with the support of ResultsManager to help filter what is possible I don’t always remember to think of what to do next (being software based I don’t always have access either). It may sound simple but part of the reason for this is simply not having a name for that moment.

In his blog entry, Matt lists several examples of transitions

  • Leaving the house – Is there anything I need to take, based on where I’m going?
  • Leaving the driveway – Is there anything on @Errands I can pick up?
  • Entering the office – What contexts are available? @Phone? @Computer?
  • Finishing an action – What’s my context/time/energy/priority like? Should I activate another action from an associated project?
  • Finishing a phone call – do I have time to make other calls from @Phone?

(GTD’ers will recognise the meaning of the @ symbol as designating a particular context of action)

These examples are little different from what I would normally ask myself — when I remember to ask that is. Now I need only train myself to think “transition, what next?”.

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Coaching reflects the needs of all parties

Reading time: < 1 minute

I was sitting with a client this afternoon thinking, “If he did this he’d be far more effective”. Then I thought, “Hey, if I did that (again) I’d be far more effective (again) as well”.

Funny how coaching’s like that.

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Develop a 5 to 1 habit

Reading time: < 1 minute

Curt Rosengren has a practical suggestion for overcoming obstacles. He calls it a 5 to 1 habit and suggests that for each obstacle you immediately identify 5 ways around it. I might add a sixth, which is to take a moment and check if it even is an obstacle.

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Listening Habits

Reading time: < 1 minute

I just took the Listening Habits Profile assessment on ListeningLeaders.com. When in coach mode my listening is very good, yet as a listening leader I score a measly 62%. Pretty average I’m to understand. It’s not that I don’t know what to do, more that I forget to do it all the time. That’s why it’s a test for habits. I took this test because I’ve listened to myself closely over the past few weeks and haven’t been happy with the results. What has happened is the identification of specific areas in which I need to improve. Primarily questioning for understanding.

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Department head conversations reflect real life

Reading time: < 1 minute

Last night three department heads and their assistants sat down together. As expected the conversation was wide ranging and jumped from topic to topic almost at random. The heads dominated the conversation, creating space for others to speak when additional detail was required. Multiple times the conversation was hijacked to the cause of an individual. People spoke their truth and the lack of questions suggested little apparent regard for others.

Sadly this wasn’t a boardroom meeting. It was a private social occassion with three families meeting for dinner. The pattern of conversation mirrored that we so often see at work. Those of us wishing to improve our communication need to look at all our interactions to see how we habitually behave. By doing so we can create richness at work and in our private lives as well.

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