Posts Tagged gratefulness

Closing my open loops for 2009

Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes

An open loop is something which is pulling on your attention. I have a few from 2009 relating to Quantum Gardener which I will close today lest they fester and end up consuming more and more of my time.

50 book challenge (2009)

In 2008 I successfully read 50 personal and self improvement books in a 12 month period and once complete immediately set myself the same task for 2009. Whatever the reasons, and I could create many, my progress this time around has been much slower. As of today I am at 16/50 which leaves 34 between now and April. In terms of open loops I had committed to myself to write up a short overview of each book for you the reader and I’ve managed just 8 of the 16. So, here are they are:

Getting Things Done by David Allen; At least my third reading of my productivity bible. Each time through I learn something new. See my Getting Things Done category of posts for more information.

The Way of the Bow by Paulo Coelho; The most succinct book on goal setting I have ever read. It uses the various aspects of archery as metaphors for goals. The title is available for free online.

“But never hold back from firing the arrow if all that paralyses you is fear of making a mistake. if you have made the right movements, open you hand and release the string. Even if the arrow fails to it the target, you will learn how to improve your aim next time.

Go for No! by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz; A second read in the period and perhaps more interesting the second time around (see my earlier review).

The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz; This is a classic reminder that our thinking is the ultimate limiting factor in the success of our life. This was my second reading and I was grateful to be able to identify those times I’ve thought big and achieved results. It also helped me identify all those times I didn’t think so big and pulled back for no real reason.

“We must be willing to make an intelligent compromise with perfection lest we wait forever before taking action.”

The Manual of the Warrior of the Light by Paulo Coelho; A series of short stories, often in parable form, exposing virtuous characteristics. I often take inspiration from these stories. For those familiar with The Warrior of the Light newsletter, much of the content here will be familiar. The title is available for free online at http://paulocoelhoblog.com/internet-books/

Today Matters by John C. Maxwell; This is the most important book that I read in 2009. So much so that it was read cover to cover twice in a matter of weeks. The basic concept is that what we do each day sets us for the success of tomorrow and we must put daily disciplines into place for that to occur. I’ll write more in a later post.

Practising gratefulness daily

A little while ago I wrote about the benefits of practising gratefulness daily. My well meant intention was to post what I was grateful for each day on Twitter and sadly I haven’t come close to doing that. I am often grateful but may not pick up the habit of a daily post until later this year.

Declaration of closure

And so I declare my 2009 open loops closed with regard to Quantum Gardener. There are still many ideas trying to get out of my head and into this blog. It takes time to organise them all and find space to write clearly. It may be as part of my 2010 self-improvement learning plan that I commit to a weekly blog entry at a minimum yet before doing so I do need to be sure it won’t be at the cost of something else.

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The Charter for Compassion signed. Now what?

Reading time: 3 – 4 minutes

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Following in the footsteps of Michael Bungay Stanier I have signed and affirmed the Charter for Compassion, a global effort to raise the awareness of compassion in the world.

This simple act had me thinking about compassion over the weekend and how it comes about. There are people in the world who are naturally compassionate. And, there are people who are not. What might be the difference between them and how, if you’re in the latter group, can you change things?

Much as there is a mood of gratefulness, there is a mood associated with compassion as well. Moods are integral to our way of being. They are predispositions to action. In simpler terms, the mood we are in dictates what we see as possible in the world. If I’m in a compassionate mood then showing compassion to my fellow citizens will be much easier than if I am in a non-compassionate mood such as resentment,  resignation or anxiety. How can I consider helping someone if I’m angry, feel there is no possibility in the world or am scared of what may happen?

The Arbinger Institute would say we are non-compassionate when we are “out of the box” or have a “heart at war” with respect to another. Practising the teachings in their excellent books Leadership and Self-Deception and The Anatomy of Peace will take you a long way towards harbouring a compassionate way of being.

I sadly can’t speak from direct experience of cultivating a compassionate mood. Having signed the Charter for Compassion I’m now bound to try. What I can speak from is the experience of generating other useful and resourceful moods.

Shifting a mood requires consideration of the language you use and the way you hold your body. I’d suggest that to become more compassionate I’ll need to be reading appropriately such autobiographies as I can find about people who have led compassionate lives. And I’ll need to keep observing my internal thoughts, particularly as they apply to those I don’t get along with so well. Skip Ross suggests that you think only good thoughts about people you don’t like for 90 days and see what happens. If you think a negative thought any time before that, start again (and he notes saving the bad thoughts up to let rip on day 91 doesn’t count). This post is also part of shifting my language. I’m “in the conversation”.

Likewise I’ll need to be observing my body and how it reacts. I’m not sure exactly what a compassionate posture is other than to think it is relaxed and non-aggressive. Standing back rather than forwards.

Most importantly, in my efforts to become more compassionate, I must show compassion to myself. There will be times when I’m nowhere close. If I show myself compassion I can learn. Otherwise I’ll keep myself down.

If you’re still reading then why not sign the Charter for Compassion yourself.

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Practice gratefulness daily

Reading time: 2 – 3 minutes

In July 2008 I began the daily habit of selecting something I was grateful for and noting it in my diary. Gratefulness is one of the most powerful emotions we can have and for me the daily habit of reflecting was a moment of quiet and stillness as the world rushed around me. My experience of being grateful is whole of body; like a large sigh without the angst, or the feeling of a warm bucket of water tipped down my back.

The notes of my Ontological Coaching course suggest the following way of thinking about the mood of being grateful.

  • I assess that I have been and am the beneficiary of many possibilities in life
  • I assess myself to be very fortunate to have experienced these possibilities and benefits
  • I declare that I am grateful to the world in general, and also specific individuals for this enrichment
  • I also declare that it is a privilege to be alive

Today I will reignite my habit and bring it to the new world. A tweet a day with the hashtag #gr8fl. There is nothing too great or small to be grateful for as I have previously acknowledged: Update 7 January 2009 I’ve not been able to develop this habit the way I would have liked to. The gratitude is there. The habit of posting on Twitter isn’t.

  • Warm socks to put on my feet (mid-Winter item)
  • The opportunity we had to swim together as a family
  • The patience of my wife
  • Microwave popcorn
  • Learning that gratitude is a feeling and not just words.

If you would like to follow along please do so on my Twitter feed. I’ll subscribe to #gr8fl and if you post with the same tag I’ll see it.

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