There is an near constant stream of conversation running through my head as I converse with myself, and sometimes others in my mind, about how I can do better or how I can help others do better. Scenarios appear and are explored through conversation. What if I said this? Would they say that? How would they react? What do I need to do to achieve this? And so on. When I say, “near constant”, I’d estimate about 85% of my thoughts unless I’m focussed on a specific task.

I have grown to see the world in terms of conversational patterns and interactions. We are all connected. This way of thinking contrasts to my daughter who lives in terms of fashion and colour. At five she can tell you what someone was wearing yesterday even if it was a momentary glimpse as they walked through the room. I can’t comprehend that manner of thinking but I am in awe of it. It is a pointer that we all think differently.

I’m curious to know how you think via this post’s comments.  Do you constantly converse with yourself to explore ideas or do you find you just react in the moment? Is your world coloured or musical? Are you thinking in terms of you, or others?

Today Matters

John C. Maxwell. Center Street 2004, Hardcover, 336 pages, $6.00

Over the recent Christmas break my attention was taken by the simple and powerful idea that what we do today sets us up for the success of tomorrow. John C. Maxwell writes about the concept and his experience applying it to life in the book Today Matters.

My experience of self improvement books is that many give high level ideas which sound fantastic but are too far from day-to-day reality to put into place unless you can stop the world. Others are so highly specific as to be interesting but non-applicable. It’s as if you get the destination without transport, or transport and no destination. Thankfully Today Matters provides both in abundance — and with travel tips to boot.

Make twelve decisions. One each in an important area of life and then apply discipline on a daily basis to achieve goals consistent with your decision.

Possibly the most important learning for me was the difference between distinction and habit. I have beaten myself up too often over the failure to develop a habit. You know, that thing you must do each day to be successful. What I had failed to realise was that habit comes not from repetition, but from the repeated application of discipline. If I am disciplined enough to take action each day, the habit will follow.

I absolutely have Today Matters in my top five must read books and recommend you take the time to read and apply it to your life.

I’ve taken on three areas to start with. Two areas which I have assessed to be strong and one where I have assessed myself to be weak (all relative to one another). Maxwell’s suggestion is to work on an area for 60 days and no more than one weak area at a time. That’s great advice for my melancholy nature which would otherwise take on all twelve.

I’ve chosen Growth, Health and Finance. For personal reasons I will refrain from sharing the decision I made in each area. I hope you don’t mind. Yet, having made the each decision it was immediately apparent which disciplines I had to install into my daily life.

Under Growth I have recommitted to reading 15 minutes a day and freshly committed to reviewing my growth each day and counting the number of times during the day I help another improve themselves. With Health I have learnt more about the nature of a good diet and applied it (loss of 3.5kg in 3 weeks) plus exercise of 30 minutes most days. My weakest area was Finance and in that area I’ve learnt the ways in which I justify poor spending decisions, reviewed my insurances, taken steps to secure my retirement and helped my daughters begin to understand what money is (thanks to The First National Bank of Dad by David Owen).

Half way through my first sixty days I can confidently say I have made progress in all three areas which would not have happened if I had not read Today Matters or limited myself to only three areas of focus. Stay tuned.

Recent Spring rain has filled the lake and this is something I’ve not seen for far too long. It looks full to overflowing and that is exactly what is happening today. Just enough water coming in at one end to flow out through the other. I stopped at the lake today to have a look at the water flowing over its spillway (if a one-foot barrier could be called a spillway). The flow is low, no more than a few litres a minute, and I find myself amazed at how water can enter at one end of the lake, have no visible effect on the level, and then flow out the other end. The logic and physics of it all are obvious and yet nature instills wonder.

I’m glad I stopped today and took a short walk downstream. Reeds and grasses have been lain flat as stronger flows than today’s have felt the pull of gravity. It got me thinking about goals and how we can move forward and fast when we have the focus. The water which is entering at one end of the lake could be considered our dreams. Ideas about what we want to achieve. The inlet becomes the lake surface and our dreams get flattened out, barely visible in our lives as they dilute across the vast surface area of the lake. Eventually, out the outlet, there is focus and the water appears to come together and continue it’s journey downstream towards its goal of reaching the ocean. The more water that enters the lake the faster it exits. Many people are content sitting on the surface of the lake enjoying the view. For those of us who aren’t Kenni Res can serve as a reminder to keep pumping in ideas and refining our focus.

My life is at a turning point; I’ve finished VCE [Year 12] and am now faced with the question of what I want to do with my life…I’m interested to find out what people do to get, and stay, motivated. I want to know the secrets to survival in the real world, outside learning institutions…I have asked my family and friend and am now throwing the question out to the wider community.

I think these are important questions. As Jessica’s letter was public, so is my reply.

Dear Jessica,

As my calling is the cultivation of the potential in people I was gladdened to see your letter in last Thursday’s Advertiser. I hope that you have received some good replies.

Relax. I think you’ll be fine. To write a letter such as you did tells me that you are aware of your own situation and limitations enough to take action to address them.

Asking your family and friends, then the world is a smart move. Continue asking as many people as you can for assistance with all aspects of life. They will give you opinions, advice and information you don’t have. Take it all and make your own decisions.

I believe motivation comes from within. Make time to sit and listen to your thoughts and emotions. Then have the conviction to follow them. A good book is True Success: A New Philosophy of Excellence by Tom Morris. He writes of 7 C’s of Success.

1. A clear CONCEPTION of what we want, a vivid vision, a goal clearly imagined.

The mistake here is to get trapped by the goal setting standard that it must all be written down and articulated. Sometimes this can only be felt. Part intuition, part faith. At times just an inkling which can barely be heard over the noise of everyday life. It may take years to develop. That’s ok as it will be all the stronger when you find it. At the end of your schooling you will be under a lot of pressure to select a career. Do what feels right now. You and the world will change and new careers will present themselves.

2. A strong CONFIDENCE that we can attain the goal.

You have all the skills you need. You have a demonstrated capacity to learn. Now you need to learn about yourself in the world, not just the world outside of you.

3. A focused CONCENTRATION on what it takes to reach the goal.

Keep your goal in your head and the way will show itself. Be imaginative and bold. At times you will say to yourself, “No, I can’t possibly do that.” You will find a way. There are always several. Continue to involve your family and friends. Look for solutions to problems.

4. A stubbon CONSISTENCY in pursuing our vision.

Keep at it.

5. An emotional COMMITMENT to the importance of what we are doing.

Our emotions drive what we see as possible. If you are emotionally committed (and what that means to you only you can know) then the possibilities you need will remain open.

6. A good CHARACTER to guide us and keep us on a proper course.

Integrity and respect (for yourself and others) will keep you moving forward. They will also attract assistance from others.

7. A CAPACITY TO ENJOY the process along the way.

Life is a journey. You only get to do it once.

These are some priciples to think about. Every time I’m really moving forward in life or achieving success all 7 are in play. When I’m not, at least one is missing. Another list is the Manual for Climbing Mountains by Paulo Coehlo.

The world you have grown up in has a strong bias towards technology and structured ways of doing things. Technology is a tool not an answer.

All we achieve in life is in partnership with others. Here conversation is the key. It gives support, knowledge and helps you with all the things you cannot do yourself. Learn about conversation as a technology itself. It is the key to greater learning.

Develop the skill of listening. I recommend you obtain a copy of Listening Leaders: The Ten Golden Rules To Listen, Lead & Succeed by Lyman Steil and Richard Brommelje. It lays out a good framework to begin with.

Seek out mentors for all areas of life in which you need to develop. Mentors come in many forms. People (good mentors and “I don’t want to be like them” mentors) and books. I recommend any of the books listed on my website.

Start a journal or a weblog. The act of writing will greatly clarify your thinking.

Every success,

David