That’s the question I asked myself on Friday and this time I listened to my answer instead of brushing it aside. So easy to do as it flashed past in a instant.

I love writing on Quantum Gardener but write much less than I’d like because I don’t have time to do it properly. Therefore, and perhaps non-intuitively, blogging is something I choose to stop until I have time. You see the commitment to readers is more than typing. The recent upgrade to WordPress 3 has stolen at least 5 hours. They could have been better spent working towards earning my financial freedom so that I can write all day if I choose. Do my valued reader this will be the last post for a while. I will still be on Twitter @quantumgardener.

There are other tasks and projects valued to me that I now realise are taking too much time. Or at least interfering with progress towards my dreams. Each is a commitment I’ve made to myself and I find I need to honour them before other things. Partly because of the effort already invested. The good news it was me who made the initial commitment so I have full and unhindered power to renegotiate or declare completion. This blog post is a public declaration of my recommitments .

Renegotiating smaller tasks links to a habit I have of wanting to finish them in order to create space for large tasks. Eventually all I achieve are small ones.

In addition to a halt on blogging I put my photo cataloging on hold. Though justifiably proud of having catalogued 15,000+ family photos and video clips with date, location description, gps coordinates, event and people in them it distracts me and can wait until I have more capacity. As one of those tasks that never ends, I’ll keep up only the essentials of backup.

There are similar commitments I have around music in iTunes and my DVD/Blu-ray library.

Then there are books unread, movies unseen, podcasts unheard and games unplayed. I find myself working relentlessly trying to finish lists that grow quicker than I can keep up. Kind of like Lucy on the assembly line. All I generate are more ideas of projects to complete. Valuable for sure but costly when compared to what I’m missing.

I will however keep my 50 Book Challenge lists up to date. It’s easy to and provides a useful record.

Until I have the time to write and serve you better take care.

David

The 360 Degree Leader

I first heard John Maxwell speak of the 360 degree leader on an audio CD and was intrigued by the power of the realisation there are people like me who need to lead in all directions. Up, down and across.

This book outlines a framework for leadership which the eager learning leader can use to home their skills and understand the particular quirks and responsibilities of leading from the middle.

It’s Time to Move On!

Like being slapped in the face whilst simultaneously receiving a kick in the rear and a stern, “Tsk! Tsk!”, this book may prove to be just what I’ve needed to make the changes I’m after in my life.

Almost every page was like a mirror of my own experiences. Well, at least as far as they pertain to the feelings and emotions of dealing with change. To my knowledge I’ve never been thrown in the brig or done a stint as a fishing charter captain.

Change is all around us and we have the choice to fight it or embrace it. The trouble with fighting is that we always lose. For coping with unwanted change the book alone is worth a read yet the gold lies in it’s chapters on how to move past the resistance to embracing change and allowing yourself to go where you want to in life.

by Robert B. Cialdini

Defend yourself against the Click…whirr response engendered by your built in need to reciprocate, keep consistency with what you have said you’ll do, be part of the crowd, like people who take advantage of you, follow authority without question and your desire to own something scarce.

In Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert B Cialdini explains with easy to understand examples, backed by scientific testing, how the social systems we’ve created as necessary to work together are taken advantage of by marketers and others. With understanding comes the ability to recognise when we are being conned and hopefully take steps to counteract our natural tendencies.

I found most interesting the discussion on social proof and in particular the notion that when faced with an unusual situation we look to others around us for guidance under the assumption that they will know something we don’t — at the same time failing to realise everyone else is doing the same. They assume we know more than them as we simultaneously assume the same in reverse. The result is stalemate and nothing happens. All it takes is for one person to take action and the others will follow on, free to help as they can. The author’s example of what to do if you have a heart attack in a crowd is potentially life-saving. Instead of hoping someone will help you, be direct and pick out an individual to call an ambulance. Otherwise you risk those around you waiting for someone else to call.

There was not one example given in the book that I couldn’t match to my own life experience and an associated regret at having been done over by someone more persuasive than myself. Protect yourself as I have by learning about the hidden influences in your life.

If that’s not a definition of “enough is enough”, then I don’t know what is.

You and I live in a world where it is amazingly easy to collect and we seem intent on holding onto everything. DVD or Blu-ray movies, music on our iPods, books via Kindle and even conversations via Twitter and Facebook. Are we so scared that we’ll lose it all?

It struck me how useful it would be to have this question in the workplace. I see too many decisions and actions taken on the basis of what someone believes to be true very often without any substantial basis other than it’s what they believe.

People who speak in generalities but can’t provide or offer to provide real evidence need to have this question asked of them directly. It will be confronting, even if asked sincerely. Yet it should not be something you have to apologise for. Some people will have the guts to say, “You know what? I don’t really know”. Then you have a basis to move forward.

There is an near constant stream of conversation running through my head as I converse with myself, and sometimes others in my mind, about how I can do better or how I can help others do better. Scenarios appear and are explored through conversation. What if I said this? Would they say that? How would they react? What do I need to do to achieve this? And so on. When I say, “near constant”, I’d estimate about 85% of my thoughts unless I’m focussed on a specific task.

I have grown to see the world in terms of conversational patterns and interactions. We are all connected. This way of thinking contrasts to my daughter who lives in terms of fashion and colour. At five she can tell you what someone was wearing yesterday even if it was a momentary glimpse as they walked through the room. I can’t comprehend that manner of thinking but I am in awe of it. It is a pointer that we all think differently.

I’m curious to know how you think via this post’s comments.  Do you constantly converse with yourself to explore ideas or do you find you just react in the moment? Is your world coloured or musical? Are you thinking in terms of you, or others?

• Was it the family who was late for their 4.45 pm appointment?
• Was it the teacher who let an early arrival meet before us when the first family was late?
• Was it the teacher who then let the late family start at out allotted time after the early arrival had met?

I ask the question again. Who was to blame for my wife and I missing our 5.20 pm appointment?

We were.

In the moment we used the others as reasons to miss it. We took an appointment with the first teacher 20 minutes late when we should have been done with that and in the second class. Instead of recognising a commitment for 5.00 pm had not been met and dealing with that fact, we exacerbated the problem by missing the next. As one promise was broken for us, we in turn broke another.

Everybody understands but is it really acceptable? Multiple people stressing and angering because nobody in the chain could keep a commitment and acted selfishly (under the guise of being fair).

The conversations could have been as follows (and I’m going to paraphrase rather than spell out in full):

• Between the first teacher and the family that was late. “Sorry. You’ve missed your appointment. We’ll have to reschedule or you’re welcome to wait in case a time opens up”. In this case we would have had both appointments on time.
• Between us and the teacher. “Sorry. You allowed another family to jump ahead of us. We’re off to keep our committed 5.20 pm appointment and will have to reschedule with you.”
• Between us and the second teacher. “The times with the first teacher have been stuffed around. Would it be possible for us to be 10 minutes late?” If so, we’re all ok and commitments are managed. If not, we attend at the previously agreed time.
• Then when we were late, between us and the second teacher. “Sorry. You’ve missed your appointment…”

Remember I did say that my wife and I were responsible for missing our second appointment. We chose not to attend it on time.

Often we can forget the impact of seemingly simple decisions. For whatever reason the first family were late, they impacted the lives of at least 10 other people as the situation cascaded. If they had rescheduled or the teacher had required it far few people would have been impacted. If we had left the first appointment and gone to the second on time it would have impacted us more so but saved the distress of others.

This is a common situation. One client arrives late so you go over time and are yourself late for your next client meeting (leaving everybody waiting unproductively) and so on throughout the day until you finally arrive home after the children have gone to bed.

Make your commitments carefully and stick to them. Holding yourself and others accountable builds trust around reliability.

For managers and supervisors

Pre-interview questionnaires? Bin them.

Competency models? Bin them too.

Forms to fill out during the interview? You guessed it. Right to the bin.

Complicated meeting arrangements? Just pick a time.

Now you have the space for the following questions.

1. Where is the business/department/team now? As a manager or team leader this is where you describe where you think the company is going. It sets the context for the remaining questions.
2. What are your priorities? Your employee now knows where you’re going and you can openly discuss where they want to go within that plan. Heaven forbid you might find there is a mis-match of priorities here but in all my experience I’ve always been able to find something that aligns the two.
3. What do you think you’ve done well? Allow the employee to discuss what they’ve done well since the last review (which, by the way was no more than three months ago was it?). You will be able to confirm and add more observations.
4. What would you like to improve upon? Gather ideas for further education and find out, then agree, on how you can support your charge.
5. How can I be a better manager for you? Now listen. DO NOT ARGUE. Any remaining dissatisfaction will surface. Come to agreement on how you can be a better manager. It may require the employee changing their behaviour as well.

For employees

If you are an employee, the process is even easier.

1. What am I doing that you want me to keep doing?
2. What am I doing that you want me to stop doing?
3. What am I not doing that you need me to do?

Timing?

Whenever needed. Nothing in a performance review should ever be a surprise to the employee. At Arthur Andersen I was guaranteed an appraisal of some sort every three months or sooner if I had completed a project within that time frame. I find three months is a good timeframe. It gives time for behaviours to change but not so much that you need days to cover it all and so end up covering nothing.

Today Matters

John C. Maxwell. Center Street 2004, Hardcover, 336 pages, $6.00

Over the recent Christmas break my attention was taken by the simple and powerful idea that what we do today sets us up for the success of tomorrow. John C. Maxwell writes about the concept and his experience applying it to life in the book Today Matters.

My experience of self improvement books is that many give high level ideas which sound fantastic but are too far from day-to-day reality to put into place unless you can stop the world. Others are so highly specific as to be interesting but non-applicable. It’s as if you get the destination without transport, or transport and no destination. Thankfully Today Matters provides both in abundance — and with travel tips to boot.

Make twelve decisions. One each in an important area of life and then apply discipline on a daily basis to achieve goals consistent with your decision.

Possibly the most important learning for me was the difference between distinction and habit. I have beaten myself up too often over the failure to develop a habit. You know, that thing you must do each day to be successful. What I had failed to realise was that habit comes not from repetition, but from the repeated application of discipline. If I am disciplined enough to take action each day, the habit will follow.

I absolutely have Today Matters in my top five must read books and recommend you take the time to read and apply it to your life.

I’ve taken on three areas to start with. Two areas which I have assessed to be strong and one where I have assessed myself to be weak (all relative to one another). Maxwell’s suggestion is to work on an area for 60 days and no more than one weak area at a time. That’s great advice for my melancholy nature which would otherwise take on all twelve.

I’ve chosen Growth, Health and Finance. For personal reasons I will refrain from sharing the decision I made in each area. I hope you don’t mind. Yet, having made the each decision it was immediately apparent which disciplines I had to install into my daily life.

Under Growth I have recommitted to reading 15 minutes a day and freshly committed to reviewing my growth each day and counting the number of times during the day I help another improve themselves. With Health I have learnt more about the nature of a good diet and applied it (loss of 3.5kg in 3 weeks) plus exercise of 30 minutes most days. My weakest area was Finance and in that area I’ve learnt the ways in which I justify poor spending decisions, reviewed my insurances, taken steps to secure my retirement and helped my daughters begin to understand what money is (thanks to The First National Bank of Dad by David Owen).

Half way through my first sixty days I can confidently say I have made progress in all three areas which would not have happened if I had not read Today Matters or limited myself to only three areas of focus. Stay tuned.