Archive for category Inspiration and motivation
Today Matters
Posted by David C. Buchan in Inspiration and motivation, Self improvement on February 1st, 2010
Reading time: 2 – 4 minutes
Over the recent Christmas break my attention was taken by the simple and powerful idea that what we do today sets us up for the success of tomorrow. John C. Maxwell writes about the concept and his experience applying it to life in the book Today Matters.
My experience of self improvement books is that many give high level ideas which sound fantastic but are too far from day-to-day reality to put into place unless you can stop the world. Others are so highly specific as to be interesting but non-applicable. It’s as if you get the destination without transport, or transport and no destination. Thankfully Today Matters provides both in abundance — and with travel tips to boot.
Make twelve decisions. One each in an important area of life and then apply discipline on a daily basis to achieve goals consistent with your decision.
Possibly the most important learning for me was the difference between distinction and habit. I have beaten myself up too often over the failure to develop a habit. You know, that thing you must do each day to be successful. What I had failed to realise was that habit comes not from repetition, but from the repeated application of discipline. If I am disciplined enough to take action each day, the habit will follow.
I absolutely have Today Matters in my top five must read books and recommend you take the time to read and apply it to your life.
I’ve taken on three areas to start with. Two areas which I have assessed to be strong and one where I have assessed myself to be weak (all relative to one another). Maxwell’s suggestion is to work on an area for 60 days and no more than one weak area at a time. That’s great advice for my melancholy nature which would otherwise take on all twelve.
I’ve chosen Growth, Health and Finance. For personal reasons I will refrain from sharing the decision I made in each area. I hope you don’t mind. Yet, having made the each decision it was immediately apparent which disciplines I had to install into my daily life.
Under Growth I have recommitted to reading 15 minutes a day and freshly committed to reviewing my growth each day and counting the number of times during the day I help another improve themselves. With Health I have learnt more about the nature of a good diet and applied it (loss of 3.5kg in 3 weeks) plus exercise of 30 minutes most days. My weakest area was Finance and in that area I’ve learnt the ways in which I justify poor spending decisions, reviewed my insurances, taken steps to secure my retirement and helped my daughters begin to understand what money is (thanks to The First National Bank of Dad by David Owen).
Half way through my first sixty days I can confidently say I have made progress in all three areas which would not have happened if I had not read Today Matters or limited myself to only three areas of focus. Stay tuned.
The Charter for Compassion signed. Now what?
Posted by David C. Buchan in Inspiration and motivation, Self improvement on November 23rd, 2009
Reading time: 3 – 4 minutes
Following in the footsteps of Michael Bungay Stanier I have signed and affirmed the Charter for Compassion, a global effort to raise the awareness of compassion in the world.
This simple act had me thinking about compassion over the weekend and how it comes about. There are people in the world who are naturally compassionate. And, there are people who are not. What might be the difference between them and how, if you’re in the latter group, can you change things?
Much as there is a mood of gratefulness, there is a mood associated with compassion as well. Moods are integral to our way of being. They are predispositions to action. In simpler terms, the mood we are in dictates what we see as possible in the world. If I’m in a compassionate mood then showing compassion to my fellow citizens will be much easier than if I am in a non-compassionate mood such as resentment, resignation or anxiety. How can I consider helping someone if I’m angry, feel there is no possibility in the world or am scared of what may happen?
The Arbinger Institute would say we are non-compassionate when we are “out of the box” or have a “heart at war” with respect to another. Practising the teachings in their excellent books Leadership and Self-Deception and The Anatomy of Peace will take you a long way towards harbouring a compassionate way of being.
I sadly can’t speak from direct experience of cultivating a compassionate mood. Having signed the Charter for Compassion I’m now bound to try. What I can speak from is the experience of generating other useful and resourceful moods.
Shifting a mood requires consideration of the language you use and the way you hold your body. I’d suggest that to become more compassionate I’ll need to be reading appropriately such autobiographies as I can find about people who have led compassionate lives. And I’ll need to keep observing my internal thoughts, particularly as they apply to those I don’t get along with so well. Skip Ross suggests that you think only good thoughts about people you don’t like for 90 days and see what happens. If you think a negative thought any time before that, start again (and he notes saving the bad thoughts up to let rip on day 91 doesn’t count). This post is also part of shifting my language. I’m “in the conversation”.
Likewise I’ll need to be observing my body and how it reacts. I’m not sure exactly what a compassionate posture is other than to think it is relaxed and non-aggressive. Standing back rather than forwards.
Most importantly, in my efforts to become more compassionate, I must show compassion to myself. There will be times when I’m nowhere close. If I show myself compassion I can learn. Otherwise I’ll keep myself down.
If you’re still reading then why not sign the Charter for Compassion yourself.
Practice gratefulness daily
Posted by David C. Buchan in Inspiration and motivation, Self improvement on November 9th, 2009
Reading time: 2 – 3 minutes
In July 2008 I began the daily habit of selecting something I was grateful for and noting it in my diary. Gratefulness is one of the most powerful emotions we can have and for me the daily habit of reflecting was a moment of quiet and stillness as the world rushed around me. My experience of being grateful is whole of body; like a large sigh without the angst, or the feeling of a warm bucket of water tipped down my back.
The notes of my Ontological Coaching course suggest the following way of thinking about the mood of being grateful.
- I assess that I have been and am the beneficiary of many possibilities in life
- I assess myself to be very fortunate to have experienced these possibilities and benefits
- I declare that I am grateful to the world in general, and also specific individuals for this enrichment
- I also declare that it is a privilege to be alive
Today I will reignite my habit and bring it to the new world. A tweet a day with the hashtag #gr8fl. There is nothing too great or small to be grateful for as I have previously acknowledged: Update 7 January 2009 I’ve not been able to develop this habit the way I would have liked to. The gratitude is there. The habit of posting on Twitter isn’t.
- Warm socks to put on my feet (mid-Winter item)
- The opportunity we had to swim together as a family
- The patience of my wife
- Microwave popcorn
- Learning that gratitude is a feeling and not just words.
If you would like to follow along please do so on my Twitter feed. I’ll subscribe to #gr8fl and if you post with the same tag I’ll see it.
One way to answer the tough questions of life
Posted by David C. Buchan in Inspiration and motivation, Self improvement on October 2nd, 2009
Reading time: 2 – 3 minutes
Jack Vinson asks,
The biggest question I have upon reading this book is, how I can apply these idea in my life — particularly in the life of my children. I believe that they will “do well” in school, given both of our academic interests. But how do we translate that innate talent into something that gives them what they need to succeed? Gladwell doesn’t offer an answer to that question. (Laying outside the norm)
I wonder if trying to answer this question ‘as is’ is an exercise in futility. It is a powerful and potentially life changing question and so a way forward must be found for as it stands, this question is unanswerable without knowing the answers to some other questions first.
Questions can be dangerous beasties. The answer to “Life, The Universe and Everything” is well known to be 42. The problem is we don’t really understand the question. Let me suggest the difficulty in nswering such a question always comes from our belief system — the way we believe the world is. I can demonstrate this best by asking Jack some follow up questions designed to help him understand where this question comes from and why it is important to him that he answer it.
- How do you think your life would change if these ideas were applied to your own life?
- Why do you believe your childrens’ innate talent is not enough for them to succeed?
- What are you defining as success for your children?
- What mood are you carrying towards the success of your children? (One interpretation could be that Jack is resigned to no possibility of his children being successful and that is why he needs to do something to help them become successful in life. Or, he may be in a mood of wonder and is asking in anticipation of knowing how it will all work out for them. Blogs don’t hold the necessary indicators to give a clue to his mood which, I stress, only he can personally confirm.)
Several questions which if asked would lead to many more. They are designed to help Jack achive lthe clarity he needs to answer his initial question.
If you can’t find an answer you may be served by trying to find out why you are asking.
The lake of dreams
Posted by David C. Buchan in Inspiration and motivation on October 2nd, 2009
Reading time: 2 – 2 minutes
The Kennington Reservior, or Kenni Res as the locals call it, has suffered greatly under Australia’s persistent drought conditions. Evaporation lowers the lake level each day and at it’s worst much of the lake bed could be walked across.
Recent Spring rain has filled the lake and this is something I’ve not seen for far too long. It looks full to overflowing and that is exactly what is happening today. Just enough water coming in at one end to flow out through the other. I stopped at the lake today to have a look at the water flowing over its spillway (if a one-foot barrier could be called a spillway). The flow is low, no more than a few litres a minute, and I find myself amazed at how water can enter at one end of the lake, have no visible effect on the level, and then flow out the other end. The logic and physics of it all are obvious and yet nature instills wonder.
I’m glad I stopped today and took a short walk downstream. Reeds and grasses have been lain flat as stronger flows than today’s have felt the pull of gravity. It got me thinking about goals and how we can move forward and fast when we have the focus. The water which is entering at one end of the lake could be considered our dreams. Ideas about what we want to achieve. The inlet becomes the lake surface and our dreams get flattened out, barely visible in our lives as they dilute across the vast surface area of the lake. Eventually, out the outlet, there is focus and the water appears to come together and continue it’s journey downstream towards its goal of reaching the ocean. The more water that enters the lake the faster it exits. Many people are content sitting on the surface of the lake enjoying the view. For those of us who aren’t Kenni Res can serve as a reminder to keep pumping in ideas and refining our focus.
World Class Moderator and mentor
Posted by David C. Buchan in Coaching others, Inspiration and motivation, Networking, Self improvement on June 24th, 2009
Reading time: < 1 minute
Mentors play such an important part in our lives. Today I was blessed to hear that someone who I’ve been working alongside for several years now has been describing me to her friends as her mentor. I trust it is no coincidence I just heard from one of my mentors — Roy Sheppard, World Class Moderator — the very person who showed me there was such a thing as personal development and to whom I ultimately owe the identification of my calling to guide people to the path of self improvement and walk beside them on their journey.
Roy has just launced the World Class Moderator site to showcase his speaking work. Take a moment to have a look. You never know what may come from it.
Tribes
Posted by David C. Buchan in Inspiration and motivation, Self improvement on May 26th, 2009
Reading time: 1 – 2 minutes
What tribe do you lead is the fundamental question in Seth Godin’s book, Tribes: We need you to lead us. It got me thinking about the various tribes I’m a tribe member of and the leadership present or available in each.
Make no mistake, this is a book that challenges the status-quo. In fact, it may be better to say it challenges the status-quo about the status-quo. Within there is a challenge to lead which is so compelling you may find you’ve made the decision not to lead and didn’t realise it. This is quite different from the traditional view that leadership is a choice. Tribes shows us there is almost no way not to lead a tribe.
Audible.com has a free download of the unabridged audio version of Tribes.
The Anatomy of Peace
Posted by David C. Buchan in Coaching others, Inspiration and motivation, Self improvement on May 19th, 2009
Reading time: 1 – 2 minutes
The Anatomy of Peace is the Arbinger Institute’s followup to the groundbreaking book Leadership and Self Deception which I reviewed earlier. It is written in a similar narrative style and follows Lou Herbert from the first book, and a number of other parents across two days of learning about themselves and their relationships with their children. Left craving for deeper understanding and practical methods I found The Anatomy of Peace one of those rare things in today’s world — a sequel that delivers.
The book does stand on its own and yet is much stronger when approached with the ideas from Leadership and Self Deception. I thoroughly recommend them both to all.
The Fine Art of Small Talk
Posted by David C. Buchan in Inspiration and motivation, Networking, Self improvement on May 19th, 2009
Reading time: 2 – 2 minutes
Initiating a conversation with other people can be difficult as most of us are so worried about what the other person will think of us that we decide it’s better to say nothing than to expose our flaws. This topic is just one covered in The Fine Art of Small Talk by Debra Fine. For me this book differs from the many other ‘How to speak to people’ books out there because it entwines real stories with some ideas that go beyond have courage, smile and be pleasant.
Take for example Debra’s ideas on how to approach acquaintances about their work or family life. Instead of asking “How’s work?” and walking into a minefield because they were made redundant last week and didn’t know it, ask “How has your year been?” or “What’s been going on with work since I last saw you?”. This provides both parties a graceful way to explore or avoid the situation. Similarly don’t use “How’s your wife/husband/partner” but instead use “Bring me up to date on your family”.
One of my personal pet-hate questions, though not listed in the book, is “Are you having children?”. This question causes extreme pain to all those couples who are striving to have children but can’t for whatever reason. I know; I’ve been there. It presumes so much.
Another suggestion I’ve picked up on the way is to ask people, “So, do you work locally?” instead of “Where do you work?”. Similar to the suggestions above it allows the other party to gracefully handle the loss of a job, working from home, etc.
Yet I digress. The Fine Art of Small Talk is an easy read on what should be an easy subject. It carries with it useful information and a shot of confidence.
Leadership and Self Deception
Posted by David C. Buchan in Coaching others, Inspiration and motivation, Self improvement on May 19th, 2009
Reading time: < 1 minute
I have already listened to the audiobook of Leadership and Self Deception twice so far this year. I found the content of this book extremely humbling each time and whereas the first exposure to the material was a challenge, the second time it was challenging of me.
Unable to source a paperback copy quickly I purchased the audio version from iTunes. The ideas of self-deception, self-betrayal and how they affect our daily lives unfold as a conversation between Tom and his employers so the acting of the audio added immensely to the feeling of the book and set a nice pace.
Leadership and Self-Deception adds a level of understanding to workplace interactions which is deep yet clear and sensible.
-
-
You are currently browsing the archives for the Inspiration and motivation category.
Charter for Compassion